Getting Started / Linda Knapp
Keeping kids safe online may require filter, spyware

 

Three years ago, a national study reported that one in four adolescents (10 to 17 years old) on the Internet was exposed to unwanted sexual pictures. One in five received sexual advances, and one in 17 was harassed or threatened.

That surprised me, but what surprised me more is that only a quarter of those adolescents were distressed by the incidents.

In 2001, another study reported that 70 percent of 15- to 17-year-olds had accidentally arrived at pornography sites. Unfortunately, it's

become all too easy to stumble across those sites by simply mistyping a Web address or searching broad topics.

Besides porn sites, there are sites that promote white supremacy, terrorism and other forms of hatred and violence. Persuasive stories and arguments on those sites can sway vulnerable minds, and some studies have linked adolescent violence to the Internet and other media influences.

To help protect children from dangerous incidents, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act was enacted in 2000. The law regulates the collection, use and disclosure of personally identifiable information from children under 13.

A year later, a study on the progress of the law reported some, but not enough, compliance with the regulations. Parents still have to protect their children from potential danger while using e-mail, instant messaging, chat rooms and generally browsing the Internet.

When my older children visited chat rooms almost a decade ago, some aggressive behavior was not uncommon, which isn't surprising since the Net makes it so easy to anonymously try on new personas and then drop them after logging off. My kids rarely took conversations they'd had in chat rooms seriously.

In high school, however, my son started staying up later at night, and I arrived on the scene once to discover him browsing unsavory sites. After that, I installed a filter that limited the kids' use of the Net by denying access to sites judged to be potentially unsuitable for youth.

Soon afterward, both kids complained that they couldn't access certain sites necessary to do research for school papers. I could see that the restrictions hampered legitimate research and lifted the limits. My son promised to stay away from forbidden places and I periodically checked his nocturnal activities.

These days, porn may appear in children's e-mailboxes even when they don't ask for it. The options for parents to limit or monitor their kids' Internet use have increased and the tools have improved since I first installed a filter years ago.

Basically, Internet filters enable parents to regulate a child's use of the Net in a number of ways. For example, they can permit access only to approved sites, or permit all sites except those on an established blacklist (usually customizable by the parent).

Parents can also add e-mail filters that limit the child to sending or receiving mail from a parent-created list of people (e-mail addresses), or deny access to a specified list of addresses.

Other filters include limiting the time a child spends online and preventing him or her from sending personal information. However, filters are not usually flexible to an individual child's particular needs and may become a source of frustration. Alternatively, some parents with teens who've been freely traveling the Net are now installing spyware to monitor their children's online behavior.

Spyware is software that records all the child's e-mail, instant messages, chat-room dialogue and Web sites visited. That information is then e-mailed to you regularly. Whether you choose to filter, spy or just watch closely, talk to your children about the dangers they face online. Prepare them for unsolicited porn, predators who pose as friends and harassment. Most important, keep computers out of kids' rooms and in places where you can easily see the screen.

Finally, establish at least these two unbreakable Internet rules: Never give out personal identifying information online (name, address, phone number, passwords, etc.), and choose safe, not suggestive, screen names and e-mail addresses.

Every day, every family member should practice safe computing.

Some popular filters include include IamBigBrother RealTimeSpy and iSpyNOW. 

Becky Worley's new book, "Security Alert: Stories of Real People Protecting Themselves from Identity Theft, Scams, and Viruses," also has an excellent chapter on protecting the family.